So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
