new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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