I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
