and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
