you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
