How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Randomize
