no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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