I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
