Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize