My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He had one of those small greek statue penises
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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