Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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