what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
