when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
