Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
