Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
