I think im going to throw up on grandma
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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