I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sorry about my life...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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