i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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