Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
