Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
