i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
