Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
