I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
