Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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(773): View more from Illinois

This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.

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(310): View more from California

Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk

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