My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize