I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
