too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize