im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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