You're so nebulous sometimes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize