Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
