Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
