She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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