i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
