You really coming over, don't trick.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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