The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
