did you get engaged???
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
