Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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