sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
