Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
