i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
