i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i now understand why vodka
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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