so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
