I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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