put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
