well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
