every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
