wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
