She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
