hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
