I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
