if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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