Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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