the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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