i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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