out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize