Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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