She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
