and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
