somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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