I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
