What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
