I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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