dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
